Title: I Do
Author: Vera
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Me no own. Rath still owns me.
Distribution: Ask.
Author's Note: I always wanted to write a fic based on Jude’s "I do" since I love that song so much and now finally got an idea for it..


I got a letter today
An invitation
And the writing looked like you
Hello how are you and by the way
Please RSVP I do

I opened the door to my shabby apartment and stepped on the mail that has been stuffed under my door. I groaned and threw my jacket in the corner. All bills, I was sure. I decided to ignore them and go to take a shower first.

When I came out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist, my eyes fell directly on the mail again. I ruffled my wet hair and sighed. Then I finally bend down and picked it up. Bill, bill, stupid lottery commercial, bill… I tossed them all right back on the floor, but in the corner this time, so I wouldn’t have to look at them all the time. The last letter caught my attention. It couldn’t be, could it? Have you finally decided to let go off the loser and come back in my arms? I quickly tore it open and scanned over it. Oh.

I walked over to the couch and slumped on it. I scratched my eyebrow and started to really read your letter. So you and him are going to get finally married? Well, took him long enough to ask you. Loser. I would have asked you sooner. Okay, or maybe not, but there are other ways to claim you as my own. Besides, why go conventional? We aren’t. We’ve never been. I may be an alien, but you’re not of this earth either. That’s why I fell for you of all people available. I sighed and crumpled the letter. Why you?

I thought of writing sad words of how it used to be
But I didn't want to bring you down, no
I guess the bells will ring pretty well there without me
Don't worry 'bout me baby I'll wear the thorny crown
I will play the clown

Should I write you back? But to say what? That I’m better for you? That we’d have more fun together than you could even have with the uptight loser? But would it change anything? I’ve changed for you, but you didn’t notice. Look where I am now. Living a f-cking conventional live. Having a steady job. I even have a decent hair-do. But it couldn’t have been the hair. He has weird hair as well. And to me it was a question of style, his was just messed up. So why do I keep it all up? I know you won’t come back. Or at least I do now.

Maybe I should come and crash the wedding, would you like that? Was that your intention with the letter? But no, you just wanted to be nice. You were always the only person really nice to me. All the others only treated me like sh!t. I should respect that and just let you go.

Was I just a charity case to you? Till you could get happy again with him? A plaything? Your f-ck toy? When I close my eyes I can still see you naked and sweating on my sheets, screaming out my name in ecstasy. But we had fun out of the sheets as well, didn’t we? Do you remember the night I strapped you down and used up all the Tabasco on you? But you paid me back the next day with that evil feather duster… Damn, I think I need another shower. A cold one.

But you never needed me, did you? How would it look if I’d turn up on your wedding? All your friends would stare me down because they think I’m bad for you. And him? He’d try to be nice because he knows you’d want it, but inside he’d most likely just want to punch the living daylight out of me. Not like he’d be able to, the loser.

If you think that I don't love you, you're just wrong
And that don't matter now anyway
I couldn't bear to see you up there with a white dress on
Here's my vow to you
I'll stay away

I unfolded your letter again and removed all the wrinkles with my powers. It’s a sign that you’re still thinking of me, right? So maybe I should just pack my stuff and pay you guys a visit down there in Roswell. Haven’t been there for a long time. And you could say he’s kinda like my brother, so I’d owe it to him as well.

Yeah, right. I bet he’d get all teary-eyed when I feed him that sh!t. I snorted and placed the letter next to me so I could pass both hands through my hair. I stared at the ceiling. F-cking hell! I could feel the power building up in me and I just wanted to blast something away. I looked around. I always hated that stupid chair. Just bought it because it was cheap. I stretched out my arm and released a power blast that send it crashing down to pieces. Do I feel better now? No.

I can’t show up there. I would have to try and get in between you and your future husband. How could I not? You should be mine, not his! But I can’t ruin your wedding. You deserve a nice and cosy fairytale wedding. And I couldn’t give it to you. He damn better be able to. If I ever find out he’s making you unhappy, I’ll be there right away.

I remember when in a lover's whisper you said
No other man would ever share your bed
Well we both know that's not been so
And I wish I'd never let you go now
You found a better man instead

I still remember the first time I met you. Aside from seeing you in the hallway of that stupid school. At first you were afraid of me, but that soon changed into curiosity and something else. I guess we both felt this primal draw to get together right from the start. At least I did. But it wasn’t until some time later that we could finally act it out. I was so stupid to deny it at first. Maybe I shouldn’t have and it’d all be different now.

Our relationship started explosive. There was so much sexual energy flowing, we could have lit up the whole town with it. But then I started to really get to know you. Your dreams of a singing career. But they were cut short by that stupid bitch who just lied to you. I wanted to kill her for making you miserable. Or just for not realizing your real talent. Making you sing other songs would be like cutting off both of your arms. It just wouldn’t be the complete picture, the real you.

But on the other hand I have to thank the bitch. You needed someone to celebrate it with at first, and then I was there to comfort you when it didn’t work out. And it all led to great sexual encounters. We fit together so perfectly. You and me, we both had a thing for the kinky side. Me more than you. At first. Then you succeeded over your master and became my mistress. Occasionally. But only because you chose to play along, you could have completely subdued me with just a bat of your eyelashes.

So what the hell went wrong? I was so stupid! Thought it wasn’t right, that I didn’t belong to a human. So I started pushing you away and closing down again. You had seen way too much of me already. I never showed my vulnerable side to anyone before. Hell, I didn’t even admit it to myself. I was a General back on Antar. The f-cking second-in-command. But I could never go back to that live. Ever. Maybe that caused a lot of my issues. It was wrong to let them out on you, but I only realized it, when it was too late.

I wish you health and wealth and a white house on a hill and I
I hope you raise a family
Little boy and a little girl, a little more joy in this little old world
Well, that'd be enough for me

He was better than me. He let you into his life, made you a constant part of it. That’s what you wanted all along, wasn’t it? To belong, to have a real family? Couldn’t you see that this was exactly what I wanted as well? I never had a family, not even a mother to teach me anything about all this sh!t. You had Amy. So if you’d have just been a little more patient with me… But on the other hand, I think I had never changed if you hadn’t left me that day.

I wanted to become better for you. Make me worthy. But it was already too late, you chose him over me. I tried to get you back, but it got ugly. I was mad that night and nearly did something we both would have regretted later. Me more than you, you have to trust me on that one. But he came in to your rescue and it all was settled. Him, the saviour, me, the evil screw-up.

So why the hell did you send me that f-cking invitation? Do you want your world to be perfect again? Want me and him to get past our issues and become friends? Would you want me as an uncle for your kids? I really wish I could do that for you, but I can’t. Not ever. Not even when hell freezes over. I’d just skate in the other direction. It’d tear me apart and make me more f-cked up than I already am.

I miss you. So badly! None of the other women even made me remotely happy. They were just good enough for a quick f-ck, but then I tossed them out the next day. The very few times I took them home. Usually I just take them up against a wall in some dark night club or maybe follow them to their place to continue it. If they were still up to it and didn’t pass out after the first time. It seems none of them has your stamina. You did extraordinary for a human. But like I said before, you are not of this earth either.

Time rolls on
And dreams they die
And I've thrown out the pictures I had of you and I
And if you're ever wondering if love can be true
Well, think of me and remember darling like I, like I do

But I had managed not to think of you 24/7, like I used to. I erased every proof of your very existence. I moved out of the apartment we shared for a way too short time right away. And now you write me that stupid letter to kill my last hope. But no, there’s still the chance that you’ll realize what a loser he is. That I’m the real deal and he’s just a substitute. I mean, how many divorces do we have nowadays?

But you wouldn’t let that happen, will you? You’re a fighter. Like you fought for our relationship, I guess. I just never really realized it because after all, you left me. Maybe I showed you a thing or two to spice up your life with the loser.

He better be buying you a decent ring. And one for himself. I smirked and studied the rings I never took off. You loved them, especially after you experienced what they could do to you when used in the right places. They’re not just for the look of it, mind you.

Old friendships fade away, love falls apart
And you've not spent a single day outside my heart
But, there's just one more dream that I have left for you
I hope you're smiling when he turns around and says I do…
I do

After you got your normal life back with the loser, maybe I should have gone back to mine. But the others have turned their backs on me a long time ago. Not like I’d really care. We were never friends by choice, just by a shared alien DNA. For all I care, Nicholas could have caught up with them and fried them. Or better yet, they killed each other.

So I hope he makes you happy. You deserve it. He doesn’t, but oh well, looks like I can’t have both. But if I ever hear that he broke your heart - again – I’ll hunt him down and kill him. I swear I do. F-cking lucky son of a bitch. Or well, son of a pod, but the hell with that sh!t.

I looked at your letter again and considered ripping it to tiny pieces. Would be more fun than to just disintegrate it. But you meant well. And it’s the only trace of you I have left. I should have kept some of your stuff after all. I sighed and stood up to place the letter into my drawer, right under my tenancy agreement and other paper sh!t. F-cking hell! How low have I fallen?

I slammed it shut and closed my eyes to take a deep breath. I felt the wood vibrating under my fingers. I wanted to destroy. I looked up and slammed my fist into the wall, creating a deep hole. F-cking run down hellhole. I could fix it up later. Or maybe not. Why bother? Maybe I should just get the hell out of here and get my life finally back. My life, not the life I think you wanted me to live.

I entered the bathroom again and let some cold water run over my scraped hand. I watched myself in the mirror, my now dried hair sticking to my head in a lame fashion. Maybe I should get my Mohawk back as well. I nodded. Yeah, I do.

~
A.N.: Sorry for not writing this in a New York accent, but uh, Rath became so much of a better person that he lost it? And you would have figured out who he was right away if I did? *looks around* Okay, so I suck at accent, I’m German. I would have just completely screwed it up.